


The Rocky Horror AU You Never Wanted Nor Needed

by threecheersfortheblackparade



Category: Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Used
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rocky Horror AU, the rest of the used are there but i dont wanna clog up the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threecheersfortheblackparade/pseuds/threecheersfortheblackparade
Summary: rocky horror but make it fit my current hyperfixation :)
Relationships: Ray Toro/Mikey Way, Ryan Ross/Dallon Weekes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	1. Introduction

_Michael Rennie was ill_   
_The Day the Earth Stood Still_   
_But he told us where we stand._   
_And Flash Gordon was there_   
_In silver underwear,_   
_Claude Rains was the Invisible Man._   
_Then something went wrong_   
_For Fay Wray and King Kong;_   
_They got caught in a celluloid jam._   
_Then at a deadly pace_   
_It Came From... Outer Space._   
_And this is how the message ran:_

_Science fiction, double feature_   
_Doctor X will build a creature._   
_See androids fighting Brad and Janet_   
_Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet_   
_Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh_   
_At the late night, double feature, picture show._

_I knew Leo G. Carrol_   
_Was over a barrel_   
_When Tarantula took to the hills._   
_And I really got hot_   
_When I saw Jeanette Scott_   
_Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills._   
_Dana Andrews said Prunes_   
_Gave him the runes_   
_And passing them used lots of skills._   
_But When Worlds Collide,_   
_Said George Powell to his bride,_   
_"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"_   
_Like a..._

_Science fiction, double feature_   
_Doctor X will build a creature._   
_See androids fighting Brad and Janet_   
_Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet_   
_Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh_   
_At the late night, double feature, picture show._

_I wanna go_   
_Oh Oh Oh_   
_To the late night double feature picture show,_   
_By RKO,_   
_Oh Oh Oh_   
_To the late night double feature picture show,_   
_In the back row,_   
_Oh Oh Oh_   
_To the late night, double feature, picture show!_

* * *

**Hayley:** Here they come!


	2. Dammit Ray

**Hayley:** The 17th of November, 1976. The wedding of Mr Ryan Ross and Mr Dallon Weekes.

* * *

**Spencer:** Let's get a picture. Close together now. Ahhh, hold that. Beautiful. And... smile! Congratulations!

**Mikey:** Fuck man, who’d belive that you would be the first of us to get hitched?

**Dallon:** Yeah, i know! Remember back in uni we made bets on who would get wed first?

**Mikey** : Oh yeah….. Those days were fun, weren’t they?

**Dallon:** Sure were, although nothing can quite compare to meeting ryan

**Mikey:** Not gonna lie, you guys are so fucking cute together

**Dallon:** Of course we are, i’m beautiful 

_ [ **Dallon** flips his hair, grinning, whilst **Mikey** laughs] _

**Mikey:** Sure you are, you just keep on telling yourself that

**Dallon:** Fucker

**Mikey** : Love you too, whore

**Ryan:** Okay gays, this is it

_ [ **Ryan** throws the bouquet over his shoulder, only for it to land in **Ray’s** arms] _

**Ray:** I got it, hoes! Looks like someones gonna have to make an honest man outta me soon

_ [They laugh] _

**Dallon:** Welp its time to go now. Goodbye, gals, gays and goths

_ [ **Dallon** and **Ryan** enter a car with a just married sign and drive off] _

**Ray:** That was amazing, wasn't it? God, ryan looked amazing in that dress, didn’t he?

**Mikey:** Sure did

_ [Both move slightly closer to each other like the repressed gays they are] _

**Ray:** Miikey…

**Mikey:** …..Yeah?

**Ray:** You ever thought about that? Getting married, i mean?

**Mikey:** Maybe.

**Ray:** No, but really?

**Mikey:** i dunno… maybe if i found the right person

**Ray:** And have you?

**Mikey:** ……..yeah

**Ray [looking sad]:** Oh? Whats their name? Do i know them? Have we met? Did you-

_ [ **Mikey** stares at him, disbelieving]  _

**Mikey:** i-

**Mikey:** Dude i meant you

**Ray:** Oh okay th- wAIT WHAT???

**Mikey:** dUDE I LOVE YOU

**Ray:** What the fuck since when???

**Mikey:** since we met at dnd dude

**Ray:** Fuck dude i love you too

**Mikey:** wHAT-

**Ray:** _ DUDE _

**Mikey:** _ DUDE _

_ [Cue the Gay Kiss] _

* * *

**Hayley:** I would like to...if I may, ...to take you on a strange journey. It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Mikey, and his partner Ray, two young, ordinary, healthy kids, left that late November evening, to visit David Bowie, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they were driving. It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they, being normal kids and, on a night out... well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening, were they?... On a night out...it was a night out they were going to remember... for a very long time.

_ [ **Ray** and **Mikey** are in a car- **Mikey’s** driving- going down an almost empty road. Black Flag’s Nervous Breakdown is playing at a low volume through the radio. It's raining and dark. A motorbike goes past.]  _

Ray: Fuck, thats the third bike thats passed us. They sure take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all

Mikey: True, they do

[Mikey slows the car and looks confused]

Mikey: Huh. fuck

Ray: Whats wrong, honey?

**Mikey:** We’re lost… must have taken a wrong turning a few miles back

**Ray:** But then where did that motorcyclist come from?

**Mikey:** Huh…. i guess we'll just have to turn back

_ [BANG] _

**Ray:** Holy mother of fuck, what was that?

**Mikey:** I dunno, we must have a puncture. Fuck, i knew i should’ve gotten that spare tire fixed

**Ray:** Shit

**Mikey:** Yeahhh…. Look, you stay here and keep warm, and i’ll go for help

**Ray:** Dude, i love you but look. We’re in the middle of nowhere

**Mikey:** Didn't we pass a castle a couple of minutes ago? Maybe they have a telephone I could use

**Ray:** Fine, but i'm going with you bitch

**Mikey:** There’s no sense in both of us getting wet honey

**Ray:** Hell no, I’m coming with you. Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman- or man. Or enby. Or- I mean, you get the point. You might never come back again!

**Mikey:** Fine

_ [Both exit the car] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment or kudos if you enjoyed :)  
> ill update when i can lol


	3. The Time Warp

_[Cut to a massive castle, shadowed with lightning. Its very dark and raining heavily. Ray and Mikey are making their way towards the place, both soaked to the bone.]_

* * *

**Hayley:** And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Ray and Mikey and that they had found the assistance that their plight required....Or had they?

 **Ray [shivering]:** Fuck it, Mikey, let’s go home, I’m cold and wet and this house is creepy as shit

 **Mikey:** Honey, they might have a phone though, and let’s be honest, we ain’t gettin back in this weather

* * *

_[Mikey is about to knock when the door creaks open; not a lot, just enough to see half a face]_

* * *

**Bert:** What.

 **Mikey:** Um. Hi! I'm Mikey, Mikey Way, and this is my fiance, Ray Toro. I wonder if you could help us? Uh, see, our car broke down-

 **Ray:** -Stopped workin a few miles back-

 **Mikey:** -An we were wondering um if you had a phone we could borrow? Uh yeah, thanks

_[an uncomfortably long silence and then-]_

**Bert:** You’re wet

 **Ray:** Um….yeah? It’s raining?

 **Mikey:** Yuh huh

 **Bert:** Yes….Yes, you’ll do nicely. I think you better come inside, don’t you.

 **Mikey:** Thanks dude, you’re too kind

_[Bert disappears, and the door creaks slightly more open. Ray and Mikey slowly walk in]_

**Ray, to Mikey:** I dunno babe, I don’t like this place, its well off

 **Mikey;** Oh stop fussing, honey, it’s probably one of those places bought by those rich weirdos with eccentric tastes

 **Bert:** Thisss way

* * *

_[They walk through the hallway, mildly worried]_

* * *

**Mikey:** Oh, so, um. Are you- are you having a party?

 **Bert:** You’ve….you’ve arrived on a rather…. _special_ night. It’s one of the master’s affairs

 **Ray:** Oh, lucky them

* * *

_[Suddenly, Billie appears, laughing maniacally]_

* * *

**Billie:** You're lucky, they’re lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! ha ha ha...

* * *

 **Bert:** It's astounding;

Time is fleeting;

Madness takes its toll.

But listen closely...

 **Billie:** Not for very much longer.

 **Bert** : I've got to keep control.

I remember doing the time-warp

Drinking those moments when

The blackness would hit me

 **Billie and Bert:** And a void would be calling...

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

 **Hayley:** It's just a jump to the left.

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** And then a step to the right.

 **Hayley:** With your hands on your hips.

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

 **Billie:** It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.

So you can't see me, no, not at all.

In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,

Well secluded, I see all.

 **Bert:** With a bit of a mind flip

 **Billie:** You're into the time slip.

 **Bert:** And nothing can ever be the same.

 **Billie:** You're spaced out on sensation.

 **Bert:** Like you're under sedation.

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

 **Mike:** Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think

When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.

He shook me up, he took me by surprise

He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.

He stared at me and I felt a change.

Time meant nothing, never would again.

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

 **Hayley:** It's just a jump to the left!

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** And then a step to the right.

 **Hayley:** With your hands on your hips....

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

 **Hayley:** It's just a jump to the left!!

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** And then a step to the right.

 **Hayley:** With your hands on your hips!...

 **Jepha, Joey, Quinn, Bert, Billie, Dan, Mike:** You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust

that really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again.

 **Ray:** What the everliving fuck, mikey, say something

 **Mikey:** Uhhh

 **Mikey:** Do any of you guys know how to do the macarena?

 **Ray:** Seriously???

 **Ray:** Come on, lets go

 **Mikey:** For fucks sake, what’s your problem dude, we only just got here

 **Ray:** It’s so fucking creepy though, theyre all freaks, look at them!!!

 **Mikey:** It’s just a party

 **Ray:** Well- i don’t give a shit, i wanna get outta here

Mikey: Babe, we can’t go anywhere till i get a phone

 **Ray:** Then ask a butler or someone you fucking idiot

 **Mikey:** Fuck you-

_[Mikey sighs]_

**Mikey:** Listen, we can’t ruin their celebrations, its just not polite

 **Ray:** This isn’t a time for manners honey

 **Ray:** Look, I’m cold, I’m tired, and I’m outright terrified.

 **Mikey:** Calm it, we’re safe. Anyway, i’m here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics to the time warp arent mine i just stole them for this  
> pls leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed, were all going to super hell for being gay anyway :)


End file.
